Eagles Soar, Ducks Quack

As I look at my photo album, I saw my picture when I was in kindergarten. I was wearing a green uniform, a hat and a pair of black shoes. I smiled. I realized that I’ve been a Girl Scout since kindergarten. Ten years in the making, huh?!? But still, even though I am a girl scout in that span of time, I cannot say that I have what it takes to be a great girl scout serving my people. It is because girl scouting is not about longevity; it is about the matter of the heart.

Some girls entered girl scouting because they believed that the organization can hone their skills and abilities. Others join for an additional extra-curricular activity. Other people only wanted to have the benefits. Some joined because their teacher forced them. If you’re a girl scout because of these reasons, then you should be called “girl scout na hilaw.” Yes, you’re still unripe. But do not lose heart because there is always room for improvement. Just like what happened to me

During my elementary days, I had a low self-esteem. People say that I am thin (when the wind blows… shooo… I will be missing!), I am ugly (that’s why I was never a part of special presentations during my 1st grade). I was also scolded one time because my partner in computer classes accidentally switched off the computer that’s why I had a fear in using the computers. People also laughed at me when I get low scores in mathematics. They also tease me because I am slow in taking notes and my handwriting does not fit my beautiful paper. Because of all the discouragements I had in elementary days, I did not shine.

But in high school, I had the opportunity to become someone that people thought I would never be. I had the opportunity to become a leader, a journalist. At times I become the doctor, the clown, the guidance-in-charge, the computer technician, and a lot more. Since I am student leader, my imperfections should not be seen. I should be the model (but I am human so I am still imperfect). Even though I am already tired, I should still do my duty… I should be what people want me to be because I don’t want them to feel being rejected…

I was the SPB chair in our school. But my foundations in girl scouting is shallow. I do not know so many things, but I should be all-knowing because I am their leader. Because of that, I developed the “never say no” attitude. I learned things by myself. I read books; I browse the net to gather information. But my passion in scouting was stirred up when I became the representative of the Manila Council in the 2005 National Senior-Cadet Conference.

Like my co-participants, that was my first time in the City of Pines (Oh.. not my first time because my mom grew up in Baguio and she told that she brought me when I was 2 years old!). I was inspired by the hardworking staff (special mention to Ate Kat and Ate Trinia…) who willfully devoted themselves to equip the girls for us to be responsible leaders in our respective councils. Indeed it was successful because I went home bringing the attitude of leading the people around me.

But things did not happen according to my plans. A lot of unreasonable circumstances occurred. I wanted to give up, but I didn’t. I just remember that in a battlefield, the commander-in-charge do not easily give up but fight till the end. The NSCC was also held at the end of the triennium.

We are not forever young. We all graduated from high school and entered different colleges. There is no cadet program in our university so my passion was burned-out. But still God made a way for that burning passion to be wakened. My mode of transportation every time I go to school is the LRT. One day in September, I felt so depressed because I have to do a lot of things. But when I am about to depart, I saw a very beautiful and bubbly person (cash and checks are accepted here, haha!) whom I never saw for a long time. Ate Kat astounded me (trivia: She really inspired me that’s why I was so persevered to enter UP) and asked for my number. She told me that they are planning to have the NSCC at the start of the triennium and they were looking for volunteers. That 5-minute conversation caused me to be in Baguio the second time around.

During the planning of the conference last October, I had the chance to meet the people whom I will work with. I was so glad seeing Ate Trinia, Ate Kat, Ate Teza (she was also active during the 2005 NSCC), Ate Renz (who visited us), Teesha, and the girl representatives from each region (Kathleen, Charmae, Angel, Valerie, Dawn and Eunice). I also had the chance to work with the Tita’s at NHQ. We already had the atmosphere of camaraderie months before the conference.

Planning was not that hard for me (because everyday I plan my things to do or else I’ll forget them). I enjoyed the times when we were planning the activities and all other things. Some of them were too idealistic. But we are so passionate to train all the participants to lead the change (Oh! I remember! It took us hours to make the theme of the conference!) The biggest challenge that Ate Kat and the rest of the staff gave me is the GSP World Café.

I love to surf the net, but when I enter college, I do not have the time to surf unless it is very important. And also, our pc now is suffering from memory gap and other signs of old age (whoever offers free medication, the pc is just here!). I am also always “kuripot mode” that is why we do not have 100+ kbps. The GSP World Café is a blog, I created one when I was in high school, but I already forgot how to make. I scour to be able to know it’s history, and its technicalities. I had a hard time uploading pictures (in a dial up, it will take a thousand years. haha!) and other features. I have to go to an internet café for a fast connection speed.

Everytime I received a new article from the planning staff and other girl scout, my ears would clap. Ate Trinia and I and the rest of the planning staff were wanted to cry when a participant visited it and posted a message in the tagboard (we almost cry, but we reserved it for the closing ceremony!=)).

When we arrived at Baguio, I was excited to see the computers sponsored by PLDT (They were really a blessing to us). After the arrival of the participants, I had a feeling of depression because it was raining (its mood is really contagious). But seeing all the participants happy made me feel glad. When all the patrols were gathered, I always had the question “who will be the techno patrol of the day?” I cannot find the right words to describe what I felt every time the techno patrols submit their article. Maybe for some writing is just the relationship between a paper and a pen. For me, it will not be completed without the heart of the writer.

The conference was a fast-phasing one. Maybe because we are all busy that we lost our sense of time and date. We also enjoyed all the activities that we forgot goodbyes will do come. I did not cried so hard (yes, what you saw is not yet my full potential as a cry baby! haha), not only because I will miss all of the people, but because I know that everyone who will go home will be very much different from the ones who arrived at Ating Tahanan. I was not mistaken.

Today is the deadline of the blog from each region. Their techno patrol, which is consists of very beautiful, talented and bright young ladies (special gifts are also accepted here.. *wink*) moderates their blog. I was astonished when I checked their blogs because I only taught how to create the blog but they managed to have a very good one (Ohh.. you techno patrols always make me cry..*tears*). At least I know that I was able to share what I have in me.

I wrote a list of the things I wanted to do before I die (so that I will die smiling…). One of my goals is to inspire a thousand people (that will multiply..). That’s why I wanted to be great someday. I know that girl scouting is God’s instrument to train me. Honestly, I am a better person now.

Discouragements from people made me think that I will just be a duck that only quacks. But I didn’t give up because I know that God wants me, and all of us, to be like eagles that will soar high!